Finding a Way Home
by Milina Lutka
Summary: **Literati** This picks up where Season 3 ended.
1. Moving On

Title: Finding a Way Home  
  
Pairing: Literati  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, the characters or any of that good stuff.  
  
A/N: This takes place right where the third season left off. I was a little disappointed and needed more. So, I decided to write my own fic. I've already posted this at s-h.org. Hmm.. What am I missing? Oh, some of the timing is off in this part. But it'll turn out much more organized later. Yup. Well.. it should.   
  
Jess Mariano sat on the roof of his father's house, staring out into the Pacific Ocean. The moon made the water glisten, as he gazed past the horizon. His face was expressionless as his right hand gripped the cordless phone. Without looking down, he began to dial the number he knew so well. After a short pause, a recording came on. He had memorized it by now.  
  
"Hey! You've reached Rory's cell phone. I'm off backpacking through Europe with my mom"  
  
"Her beautiful mom!" Lorelai shouted in the background causing Rory to giggle.  
  
"I'll be back in Stars Hollow on August 10th." Rory continued.  
  
"If we don't join up with a band of gypsies first!"  
  
"Mo-omm stop!" Rory finished as a beep sounded, signaling the end of the message.  
  
Jess hung up the phone and brought his eyes to stare at it as he held on tight. He sighed. He didn't quite know what he had expected to get out of this, something that had become a nightly ritual. Rory had been in Europe for two weeks, something he was well aware of. Yet, he still called her cell phone every night, knowing she wouldn't be there to answer. He called now because he was afraid of talking to her. Afraid of having to hear her voice, her pain and the tears she must've been holding back the last time they spoke. Even then, he hadn't the courage to speak. It was supposed to be such a happy day for Rory, and Jess wished he had been there.  
  
Rory would be back in a week. Jess knew he didn't have much time left. In a few days, he wouldn't be able to hear her voice before going to bed. It was something that he needed. Hearing her happy like that made him feel better, but at the same time it hurt him deeply. He wouldn't dare call when she returned. He would no longer be able to call just to hear her voice. No, the only way he would be able to hear her again was if he called when she was back in Stars Hollow, and he spoke. That wouldn't work though. At the sound of her voice, he could picture her face in his mind as clearly as if she was right in front of him. The mental picture of Rory left him choked up. He could picture her the whole time during that last phone call on her graduation day.  
  
Jess Mariano, the rebel of Stars Hollow, the boy that couldn't care less about anything, had built up a wall around his heart so high, that the thought of it crumbling scared him. Although, he would never admit it. Inside, there was a feeling he couldn't explain, but all the same, he knew what it was. It was the only thing in his life that Jess was sure of. He didn't know if his current living arrangement would work, if he'd ever see Rory again, if Luke would accept him again, or if he could ever get the strength to bring himself to tell Rory how he truly felt.  
  
Jess sighed once more and looked out towards the ocean. As the waves crashed onto a wall of rocks, he held the phone against his chest and closed his eyes. He whispered something under his breath, that was barely audible.  
  
"Rory.."  
  
******  
  
Lorelai and Rory walked casually down a street that was full of shops and boutiques.  
  
"I can't believe we actually just did that!" Rory said shaking her head. "What if they saw us?"  
  
"Don't worry about it. I made sure they were distracted." Lorelai smiled as she looked back to make sure no one was behind them.  
  
"Well, that's one more thing we can check off our list." Rory replied.  
  
They continued walking down the street looking for a place to sit. As Lorelai began to list off things they should do next, they passed a book store. Rory glanced over and saw a small, shiny object that caught her attention. A silver mirror was placed on top of a book, a book that she knew too well. Even with the title covered, she knew exactly what book it was.  
  
Lorelai had noticed Rory wasn't right next to her anymore. She turned around and saw her daughter staring intently at the bookstore window. Lorelai knew there was something there that had Rory in deep thought, she just wasn't sure what it was.  
  
"Hey Rory. Remember me? Your mother and inexperienced, yet super fun tour guide?" Lorelai announced as she stepped closer to Rory.  
  
"Oh, sorry, Mom. I was just looking at something." Rory replied, partly startled. She hadn't realized how long she had been staring at the display. She quickly returned her gaze to the book.  
  
"Okay. Well, do you want to go in?" Lorelai asked, now standing directly in front of the bookstore window.  
  
"No, it's fine. Besides, didn't you say you were hungry?" Rory answered, finally pulling herself away.  
  
"Sweetie, Momma's always hungry. But, if you meant did I need to get some food in me before I collapse and take you with me, then yes." Lorelai smiled.  
  
Rory laughed. She turned to follow her mom down the street, but not before she looked back at the window. Her eyes fell upon the book once more. Lorelai began tugging at Rory's arm.  
  
"Come on, Mommy needs nourishment. Nothing too healthy though."  
  
Rory sighed as a worked inside lifted the mirror and took the copy of Howl with him. She continued on down the street with her mom, their arms linked.  
  
"How about coffee and some croissants?"  
  
"Oui!" Lorelai giggled, "I'm getting better at this."  
  
*******  
  
Jimmy watched as his son climbed off the roof. A son who he knew practically nothing about. He had left Jess long ago, without so much as a "good-bye", or "see you later". Now Jess had done the same to someone that meant a whole lot to him. Jess didn't have to say anything, but Jimmy knew. He remembered what it was like, and he could see it.  
  
"Hey." Jess greeted Jimmy, who was standing on the porch.  
  
"Hey. What were you doing up there?" Jimmy asked, hoping to get Jess to open up.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Oh, it's just that you've been going up there a lot lately."  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm studying to be a roofer." Jess said, ending the conversation, as he walked into the house.  
  
Jimmy stood there. After all this time apart, his son was with him again. Yet, Jess seemed miles away at moments like these. Jimmy couldn't be too sure because Jess wasn't exactly the type of person who would open up and show his emotions to the world. The only thing Jimmy could think of was if Jess would be happy here, or if there was something back in Stars Hollow that could make Jess' life that much better.  
  
***  
  
The morning sun shone brightly in through Jess' window as he slowly began to stir from bed. He hadn't slept much the previous night. Not that he'd been able to in a while. He had been thinking about Rory. He imagined what it would be like if he had another chance, if he hadn't left, or if he went back. If he went back. Jess quickly shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the idea.  
  
There was no way he could go back. Stars Hollow wasn't his home. If he went back, which wasn't even an option in his mind, the town would be out to get him. He had broken Rory Gilmore's heart. He wouldn't be able to stay with Luke, because of how things were left, and the deal he had broken. Taylor owned so many apartment buildings in Stars Hollow, there'd be no way he'd even get an application. Besides, Rory was going away to Yale. Why would he go back to Stars Hollow, if she wasn't even going to be there? There was nothing there for him. Stars Hollow wasn't his home.  
  
Jess pushed the light blanket off himself and rose from bed. He walked over to his mirror and stared at himself for a moment.  
  
"Jeez, Mariano, snap out of it." He said as he shook his head again.  
  
He then grabbed some clean clothes and took a quick shower. Once he was done, he grabbed a book and shoved it into his back pocket. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he walked out the door.  
  
********  
  
Lorelai and Rory sat quietly at a small table outside a restaurant. They both looked very alert and had confused expressions on their face.  
  
"Do you hear it?" Lorelai asked, breaking the silence.  
  
"Shh. I think I do." Rory replied and strained her ears to try and listen better.  
  
Lorelai waited for Rory to hear what she had already heard. After a few seconds, Rory looked at Lorelai, wide eyed.  
  
"Whoa! You're right! It does sound like him." Rory said, agreeing with her mom.  
  
"See. It's scary, isn't it? A French Taylor. I feel bad for this town." Lorelai said as she took another sip of her coffee. "The coffee isn't as great as I thought it'd be. I'm starting to really miss Luke's coffee." Lorelai set her cup down, and circled the rim of her cup with her finger.  
  
"Me too. But, we'll be back home in a few days. The first thing we'll do is go to Luke's." Rory smiled just as a waiter brought over their sandwiches. She leaned back as he placed her lunch in front of her. "Merci." The waiter nodded and left. The girls each took a bite of their sandwich.  
  
"So, are you sad we'll be back home soon?" Lorelai said between bites.  
  
Rory thought for a second. "No, not really. I mean, it'd be great to stay longer, but we have to get back. I have to get ready for Yale and everything. And, I know it seems weird, but I kinda miss Stars Hollow"  
  
"Yeah, I do too. It's really weird. You must be so excited about Yale."  
  
"I am. It'll be the first time I'm away from home."  
  
"I'll miss you too much." Lorelai pouted.  
  
"I know, Mom. I'll miss you too, but I'll be back every weekend." Rory said reassuringly.  
  
"I know, sweets. But it's just not the same. I'll be coming home to an empty house, everyday."  
  
Rory pauses to think as she takes a sip of coffee. "We can make a Rory doll."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Yeah. A life size doll of me. You know, so the house won't seem as lonely. You could talk to it when you miss me too much."  
  
"Uhh.. like a cardboard you? That doesn't talk, eat, sleep, watch movies, or drink coffee. No, thanks. It's a little creepy. I'll just call you."  
  
"Good, I was hoping you'd say that." Rory laughed.  
  
"Evil. This is how I know you're my daughter." Lorelai stared at Rory, and smiled. "So, do you know where Paris is going yet?"  
  
"I'm not sure. She left me a message on my cell phone. But I didn't listen to it."  
  
Lorelai nodded. They finished their lunch, and sat for there for a while enjoying the nice weather and their coffee. A couple sitting at a near-by table, were kissing. Lorelai noticed Rory's gaze was directed their way.  
  
"Hun, are you okay?" She asked not sure if she should've.  
  
"Yeah. I was just.. thinking." Rory shook her head slightly, looked at her mom and smiled.  
  
Lorelai smiled back and asked, "You ready to go yet?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm done." Rory got up and pushed her chair in. "Feel like taking a walk?" Lorelai nodded.  
  
They both left the restaurant and headed for a park that was only a few blocks down. Rory was determined to enjoy the rest of her vacation, and to try her hardest to avoid any thoughts of Jess.  
  
The park's pathway was lined with colorful flowers and trees that towered high above, creating a nice shaded retreat from the summer sun. Lorelai and Rory walked in silence, taking in their surroundings.  
  
"It's so beautiful here," Rory said as she took in a deep breath. "The flowers are so pretty. They really take good care of this park."  
  
"Yeah. I could sit here all day with a nice cup of coffee. It's really peaceful too. A very nice place to go when you don't wanna think about anything." Lorelai gave Rory a quick knowing look, then returned her gaze to the path before her.  
  
"Are you implying something? Because there's nothing I'm trying to avoid thinking about. So whatever you're getting at, you're wrong."  
  
"Whoa, okay, okay. I didn't mean anything by it. It was just a general statement. No need to get all defensive." Lorelai stated, as she threw her hands up.  
  
Rory sighed and looked at her mother. "Sorry. But you're right. There is something I don't want to think about."  
  
Lorelai looked at her sympathetically, knowing what was coming. She was slightly unsure if she should continue, but decided it would be best. "Does this something have a name?"  
  
"Yeah. You know, talking about it requires thinking about it."  
  
Lorelai smiled and placed her arm on Rory's shoulder, leading her to a nearby bench. "True. But maybe that's what you need. Maybe you think about it too much, and talking about it will help you think less about it. That way it won't be stuck in your head."  
  
"I don't know." Rory sat on the bench, with Lorelai next to her. She was silent for a moment, and then spoke finally. "Why did he have to leave like that? I know it's been over a month, but I can't help it. I have to know."  
  
"Do you hate him?"  
  
"No." Rory shook her head, showing that was something she was certain about. "No, I don't hate him. I hate the way he left. I can't hate him. I.." Rory's voice trailed off.  
  
Pausing for a slight moment, Lorelai looked down and then back at Rory. "Do you love him?" A part of her didn't want to know, but she wanted to help Rory through this.  
  
"I.. I don't know. I really cared.. care.. cared.. Ugh! It just hurts." Rory put her head in her hands, unable to figure out how she felt exactly. But she knew, deep inside, she knew. She just couldn't bring herself to say it. Not aloud, and not to anyone but him.  
  
Lorelai draped her arm around Rory once more, and pulled her closer. She rested her head on Rory's and sat like that for a moment. "It's okay babe. You'll figure it out."  
  
"I hope so. I need to let it go, but I can't. Why does it have to be so hard?" Rory said, sitting up and pulling her hair out of her face.  
  
"So we can grow?"  
  
A small smile came across Rory's face, "Yeah, maybe. I hope he's okay. And that he finds whatever it is he's looking for out there."  
  
"I'm sure he's okay. He's a big boy."  
  
Rory nodded. They sat there in silence a little longer. Rory's mind was filled with questions she wished she could answer. Would she ever see him again? Did she want to? If she did, would she be able to tell him how she felt? What would she do if he didn't feel the same way? There were too many unanswered questions she needed to deal with. Right now wasn't a good time for all this. She was supposed to be enjoying her vacation, she was starting Yale soon, and she was going to be on her own soon. This was definitely not a good time for all this to be happening. But who got to choose when things like this happened?  
  
"Ready to go? We gotta pack so we can move on to our next adventure." Lorelai said shaking Rory out of her daydream.  
  
"Yeah. I'm ready."  
  
A few weeks later...  
  
Rory sat on the edge of her bed looking at her almost empty room. Her book collection had been gone through several times. She had chosen a few books she especially enjoyed to take with her. She could always get more when she visited. Her clothes were folded and neatly sitting in her suitcase. She walked over to the suitcase that lay by the door and zipped it closed. She was going to miss her room. She had been so accustomed to it all these years.  
  
Rory was getting ready to leave for Yale. She still thought it was funny. It was strange how all your life you could want something, and when it was right in front of you, you could choose another option. All her life, Rory Gilmore had dreamed of attending Harvard. Yet, here she was, standing in her room, making sure she had everything she needed, to go to Yale.  
  
"Hun, you got everything? I need to get the stuff into the jeep." Lorelai shouted from the living room.  
  
"Yeah. Everything's packed." Rory took a look around again, her eyes setting upon her desk. She walked over to it, and opened the top drawer. Inside was a small picture turned upside down. She picked it up and hesitated for a second before turning it over. When she looked at their faces, smiling and happy, she slowly smiled. Jess had his arm around her shoulder, and her hand rested on his. She stared at it for a few minutes, thinking of their time together. She had chosen him over Dean, and it was something she'd never regret. As much as she hated to admit it, considering the circumstances, she had fallen for Jess Mariano.  
  
She shook her head. No. She refused to do this to herself. Jess had left her. He didn't even say good-bye. No. Rory was on her way to start a new chapter in her life; one that didn't involve Jess, no matter how she may have felt about him. She needed to move on. It would be hard, but she wanted to forget about all the pain she was going through, no matter how much she still cared for him.  
  
"Rory, honey, Luke's here." She heard her mother call out. Quickly, she put the picture back in the drawer and shut it. Just then Luke appeared in her doorway.  
  
"Are these the ones?" He asked pointing to the suitcases that were by the door. She nodded and he took them with him. Once he was gone, she opened the drawer again and took the picture out once one. She sighed as her finger traced his face. Without giving it a second thought, she put the picture in her handbag. She'd let go when she was ready. As much as she needed to move on, there was a part of her that needed to hold on to what little she had left of Jess.  
  
As Rory zipped her bag shut, Lorelai walked into her room. "Ready to hit the road kiddo?"  
  
"Yup. All set." Rory replied, forcing a smile.  
  
Rory took one last look at her room and then followed Lorelai out the door. 


	2. Chasing Dreams

Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own Gilmore Girls or any of the characters created by ASP. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this; it'd be on tv for everyone to see.  
  
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews. They mean a lot to me. So, don't be afraid to review, there's a good chance it'll help me update faster. I'm skipping ahead a few months. It's now November. This chapter's shorter than the last, most chapters won't be as long as the first.  
  
It was a cold day and Rory wished she hadn't left her scarf in her dorm room. Careful not to lose sight of him, she quickened her pace. There was no way she'd rest until they were face to face. Rory wasn't paying any attention to her surroundings, her gaze was fixated on this man's back. 'He walks like him, it has to be him.' Soon, she was falling in step behind him. Once she was close enough, she reached out and placed her hand firmly on his shoulder. He immediately stopped in his tracks and froze. As he turned to face her, a buzz rang through her ears.  
  
It was the third time this week she'd had the same dream. Every morning she woke at the same moment, right before his face met hers. Why did she keep having this dream? It was starting to frustrate her. The dreams had started when she first got to Yale. Rory had experienced a few "Jess sightings", as her mother had called them, about the time the dreams started. Too many times she had gone out of her way to see if it really was Jess she had seen, and every time she was disappointed. The dreams had stopped for a while, until recently. She reached for her phone and called her mother once her eyes were fully open.  
  
"Hello?" Lorelai answered groggily.  
  
"It happened again." Rory didn't have to explain. She had told her mother about the dreams when they first started.  
  
"That's three times this week. You've got to stop having these dreams. These early morning discussions are killing me."  
  
"Sorry. But I had to call you."  
  
"I know. I just need some coffee. So, when are you gonna get here?"  
  
"Sometime tomorrow. Maybe around three."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you then. I'll try to help analyze that dream of yours for the hundredth time."  
  
Rory smiled. "Thanks. Bye Mom, love you."  
  
"Love you, too, babe."  
  
Rory hung up her phone and placed it on the small table beside her bed. Plopping her head back on her pillow, she lay there staring at the ceiling. This time the dream had seemed so real. She could feel her hand touch his shoulder. What was the dream trying to tell her? She knew it had to do with Jess. She was obviously chasing him in her dream. Finally, Rory decided not to give it too much thought. She'd discuss it with her mother tomorrow.  
  
*Later that day..  
  
It was unusually cold out, even though it was the middle of November. The sky was dark and the sun was covered by fast moving clouds. A strong breeze blew by, causing Rory's hair to cover her face. 'I knew I should've put my hair up.' She sighed as she collected the strands that had blown over her eyes. She then tucked her hair into her jacket and tightened her scarf around her neck, hoping it would keep it in place.  
  
As Rory came to the corner, she saw him. He was on the other side of the street facing a store window, his back turned to her. Rory blinked twice and nearly pinched herself. She looked down at her clothes and realized she was dressed as she had been in her dream. The light changed, signaling for her to cross the intersection. She dashed across the street, nearly knocking over a lady carrying shopping bags. She hadn't even noticed. 'He's not getting away this time.'  
  
He began walking, and she started to walk faster to catch up. With every step she took, it seemed as if he took three. He was getting further and further away. Rory was weaving desperately in and out of the busy sidewalk. 'Why are there so many people out?' She wanted to yell out to him, or at all these people to make them move. Once she had reached the next corner, he had already crossed the street. The sign blinked 'Don't Walk', practically mocking her. Frustrated, she was tempted to ignore the sign and run across the intersection, not caring about the traffic. Rory made sure to keep her eye on him. He hadn't stopped walking. 'Stand still!'  
  
Rory must've pushed the walk button a hundred times. She never took her eyes off of him. Right before the light changed, a truck passed by. It blocked her view of him for a split-second. It only took a split second, and he was gone  
  
On her walk back to her dorm, Rory couldn't help but wonder how everything had turned out so differently from her dream. More than that, she wondered if it really was him. But what was Jess doing in New Haven? He knew she was going to Yale, why would he be there? It made no sense. Inside her room, she threw her bags on her bed. Still thinking about the events that had just occurred, she took off her scarf. She froze, scarf still in hand. Rory had wore her scarf today, but was without it in her dream.  
  
'Stupid thing. I should've left it here. Why'd I wear it?' She paused and let out a small laugh. 'Ha. I must be losing it. As if the scarf made a difference. Just because everything else was the same didn't mean anything. I'm seriously over-thinking this.' Unable to shake the idea of Jess being so close, she took her keys and ran out the door. 'Screw it. I have to know if that was him.'  
  
Elsewhere..  
  
Jess sat at a table in a small coffee house. With a book in hand, he kept looking up. 'She must've seen me. She was practically hunting me down.' He sighed, and went back to his book. 'This isn't the way I wanted things to go. I was supposed to see her, not the other way around.' He tried to read more, but couldn't concentrate. He pulled out his cell phone and called the only person he could think of. The phone rang twice before it was answered.  
  
"Luke's." He sounded busy. Well, of course he was. It was lunch time.  
  
"Uncle Luke. Hey." Why did he call for again? He was almost sure Luke would hang up on him.  
  
"Jess. Is that you?" Luke's voice had softened slightly.  
  
"Yeah. Unless there's other people calling you 'Uncle Luke'."  
  
"Ah. So it is you. Why are you calling? I haven't heard from you for months." He paused, then added quickly. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm fine." Luke still cared, and Jess felt a pain in his heart. Luke had been the closest thing to a father he'd ever had. He was his whole family. Jess had let him down. "I was just wondering how you were."  
  
"I'm okay." There was a pause. "Jess, why'd you really call. You were never the talkative type." That was true.  
  
"Um.. I need to ask you for a favor."  
  
"Okay. Sure. What do you need?"  
  
**  
  
Rory was back outside, walking furiously. She was on a mission to find Jess. She was certain it was him she saw, and no one could convince her otherwise. Her gut told her it was him. It seemed crazy; wandering the streets, searching for someone without even knowing where to look. She went to where she'd seen him earlier, hoping he'd be there. 


	3. Starting Over

A/N: Sorry for the wait. I had a bit of writer's block and when I finally got the idea together, I went to Mexico for a week. So, here's the new chapter, finally. I hope it's not too cheesy towards the end. I started school, so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. I have the next part written, but I need to type it and edit it a bit. Anyways, on to the story. R/R.  
  
Rory had been walking around the streets of New Haven for over an hour. She finally decided to take a break and headed to her favorite coffee shop. The coffee was nothing like Luke's but it was good enough to satisfy her coffee needs. She sat at her usual table and stared out the window as the people on the street hurried along the sidewalk. She had spent a good part of the day, out on the streets looking for someone she wasn't even sure was there. As she drank her coffee, she thought about how ridiculous the whole idea had been. If it was anyone else, running around looking for someone that probably was never there, she'd call them crazy. Rory had went to the same spot where she'd seen him and walked around the block a few times. She even went into stores and looked around in hopes that he might be there. It was all crazy. 'I'm so stupid, what was I thinking? Like Jess is really here in New Haven. I'm seriously losing it.' She sighed and drank the rest of her coffee. After paying the cashier, she decided to head back to her dorm and not think about what she had done that day. She was going to forget about it all and just call it a day.  
  
As Rory entered her room, she had the strangest feeling that there was somewhere else she had to be. She brushed the feeling aside and set her keys on her desk. Next to the phone was a note left by her roommate, Angie. She picked it up, and was confused by what it said. Rory called Angie's cell to find out if it the note was meant for her.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Angie. It's Rory."  
  
"Oh, hey Rory. What's up?"  
  
"I just got home. I saw the note you left me, but I'm a little confused. Who's Josh and why does he want to meet me at the park across from the coffee house?"  
  
"He said that he needed to talk to you. Something about some unfinished issues. I can't remember exactly. But he said that if you don't show up, he'd understand and wouldn't bother you anymore."  
  
"I don't know anybody named Josh. Did he say anything else?"  
  
"Uh, let me think." Angie paused then quickly added, "Oh! I'm so stupid, it wasn't Josh. His name was Jess. I must've been thinking about the kid from Sarah's party. Sorry about that."  
  
Rory's mouth opened, and she couldn't say anything. Jess had called her, and he wanted to meet. She wasn't going crazy, it really was him that she saw earlier. She was relieved that she wasn't just chasing a shadow, but he was really in New Haven. She hadn't been running around for nothing. Then again, if she hadn't been out looking for him, she could've spoken to him when he had called. Now she wished she hadn't run out so quickly. Angie's voice pulled her away from her thoughts.  
  
"Rory? Hello. So, who's Jess? Are you going to go meet him?"  
  
"Oh, sorry Angie. He's this guy I know from Stars Hollow."  
  
"The one in the picture?" Angie cut in.  
  
"Yeah, the one in the picture. I don't know. I think I will go meet him."  
  
"Then you better hurry up. It's already a quarter to five."  
  
"What? Oh no, I'll talk to you later. Bye Angie."  
  
"See ya later."  
  
Rory hung up the phone barely even listening to Angie's last sentence. It would take her at least ten minutes to get to the park. She still needed to make herself decent. She went straight to her mirror, reapplied her make-up and brushed her hair. She gave herself a quick look over, and once she was satisfied, she rushed out the door. There was absolutely no way she was going to miss seeing him this time.  
  
After a brisk walk, Rory was at the park. She had practically ran the whole way there, she felt as if she had been running all day. 'After today, I've done enough running to last me two weeks.' She glanced at her watch and cursed silently to herself. It was ten after five. She'd been wandering around the park looking for him but she still hadn't found him. Taking in a deep breath to calm herself, she continued along the path of benches. 'Please still be there, please still be there.'  
  
There had been so many chances for her to see him, or talk to him today. She wouldn't be able to bare it if she missed him again. These past months had been hard on her. She tried moving on and dating other guys. It didn't work, all she could do was compare them to Jess. His eyes, his smile, the way she loved talking to him about books, or just being with him. Not a single person had come close. All this time, she had wished for a second chance with him. And here it was, just beyond her reach. She was so close to him, she was scared of losing him again. Her eyes became glossy, and she felt a tear escape. 'No, not now. Please, not now.' As she wiped her cheek, she looked up and saw him. He was walking away, his head down, obviously disappointed.  
  
--  
  
Jess was leaving the park. It was ten after five, and Rory still hadn't shown up. He could've stayed there all night waiting for her, but it would hurt too much. Rory wasn't coming, and it crushed him. She didn't want to see him again, let alone be with him. All these thoughts raced through his mind making him feel lost. He cursed himself for coming here.  
  
--  
  
A slow smile came across Rory's face. She let out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in. Her first instinct was to yell his name. Instead, she ran to him. He was fifty feet away, so it didn't take long until she was a step behind him. 'Good thing he's walking slow.' Before she could reach out. He had already stopped.  
  
--  
  
Without thinking, Jess stopped. She was there. He could feel it. He didn't want to turn around though. If she wasn't behind him, he wasn't sure if he could bare it. Before he could make up his mind, he felt it. Her hand was on his shoulder. A wave of relief flushed through his body. He closed his eyes and smiled. He slowly turned his body to face her. She was smiling. Her smile always had a strange effect on her, it made him melt.  
  
--  
  
Rory stared at Jess standing before her. His eyes were the locked with hers and they each were smiling, not knowing what to say or do next. They stood still for a moment, in silence, taking in the sight that was before them. Jess took Rory's hand in his and held on tight. They both looked down at their now intertwined hands and then looked back at each other. They smiled again. All their worries, fears and doubts had disappeared once they were holding each other like that. It was a simple gesture, but it made everything feel right again. Finally breaking the silence, Jess spoke.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey," Rory replied, "I wasn't sure you'd still be here."  
  
"I wasn't sure you'd come."  
  
"Sorry I took so long, I got the message a bit late."  
  
"You're here now. That's all that matters." Jess, still holding Rory's hand, led her to the bench he had been sitting at earlier.  
  
"I'm glad you called me. I thought I was going crazy earlier. I kept seeing you everywhere."  
  
Jess let out a small laugh, "Yeah, I saw you earlier today, too. I didn't mean for you to see me. I wasn't even going to call, but I had to. I knew you saw me, and I knew that it'd drive you crazy not knowing. So, I figured, I might as well. After all, you were practically chasing me down the street. Poor lady, never saw you coming."  
  
Rory blushed, "You saw that? I didn't even realize I was walking that fast. I just.. I had to know if it was you or not. I feel bad now. I hope I didn't bump into her too hard."  
  
"I'm sure she's fine. I did see her later on though. She was hobbling along the street screaming something about crazy kids, and how she'd get you." Jess teased, resulting in a smack on his arm from Rory.  
  
"Stop it. You're not helping." There was a brief pause where they simply looked at each other for a quick second. Rory's glance went to her hands, which now lay in her lap. Jess had his hands shoved in his pockets. For the first time since seeing each other again, there was a awkwardness that seemed so unnatural for them. "Hey," Jess looked up at Rory, "How'd you get my number anyway?"  
  
"Luke. I called him right after I got away from you." Rory gave him a mean look, but it quickly became a smile again. "I asked him if he had your number, and of course, he started to interrogate me. I told him that I was in New Haven, and needed to talk to you. He kinda hesitated to give it to me, I think your mom might've been in the diner or something."  
  
"I'm glad he gave you my number. And I'm glad you called. We do need to talk."  
  
"You said that already," Rory blushed again, "You're right. We need to talk." Another silence fell over them. Neither of them knew what to say first. So much had happened since he had left Stars Hollow. Where were they supposed to go from here. Rory didn't even know if Jess would be around much longer. He could be leaving her again tomorrow. The last thing she wanted was to get back with him just to have him leave her again. There was no way she'd go through that heart ache again.  
  
Jess broke the silence again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left the way I did, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about everything. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for being such a horrible boyfriend. I'm.." Rory cut him off, pressing her finger to his lips and turning his head to face hers.  
  
"Shh. Jess, I know you're sorry. If you weren't.. you wouldn't be here right now." She wanted so badly to kiss him, and to just make all the bad memories go away. But, there was no erasing the past.  
  
"Rory. How could I ever make it up to you? I wish I could go back and change everything. You were the one good thing that ever happened to me, and I pushed you away from me."  
  
"I know. I just.. don't want to think about that right now. All I want from you, is to sit with me here, and keep me company. Is that okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I can do that."  
  
"Good." Rory smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Tomorrow, we'll have plenty of time to talk about all this. We'll figure out where we stand then. I'm not saying I want to get back with you right now. It still hurts, and I'm scared of losing you all over again."  
  
"That won't happen. I promise."  
  
"Jess, don't make promises you can't keep."  
  
"Ror, I promise, I won't ever make the mistake of pushing you away again."  
  
"You remember those words." She looked up and gave him a threatening look.  
  
"I will." He smiled at her, and she rested her head back on his shoulder.  
  
"Oh no. I have to call my mom."  
  
"Now? I thought you'd at least wait until you got home to call and tell her about seeing me again."  
  
"No, it's not that. I was supposed to go home and see her tomorrow."  
  
"So, you're not going now?"  
  
"Nope, we have a lunch date tomorrow." She smiled at him.  
  
"Ah. Of course. I hope she doesn't go crazy about you canceling on her to be with me."  
  
"Yeah, that wouldn't be good. I'll just tell her I have a study group meeting I can't get out of."  
  
"Rory Gilmore, you're going to lie to your mother for a boy?"  
  
"Shush. If you'd like, I'll just go back to Stars Hollow tomorrow, and you can have lunch by yourself."  
  
"Shutting up now."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Oh, one last thing, just tell her you're staying longer next weekend because of Thanksgiving. I'm sure that'll calm her down a bit."  
  
"Oh, you're right. I forgot about that. Sounds like a plan. I'll call her later. I'm too comfortable right now." Rory added, causing Jess to smile and hold her closer. 


	4. And So It Begins

Rory woke up smiling as she remembered she was driving home for the weekend. With Jess. The past week had been amazing. When she wasn't in class or studying, she was with Jess. They has caught up on the time they'd spent apart. Jess told Rory all about Venice and his father. Rory filled Jess in on her backpacking trip with her mother. Everything was perfect.  
  
Rory slowly turned over and smiled as she saw his face. He was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful and innocent. True, he wasn't anywhere near innocent, but as he slept Jess could pass for innocent looking. If only barely. The sight of Jess asleep brought yet another smile to Rory's face. He always seemed to have that kind of affect on her. She loved waking to the image of Jess beside her. She reached over slowly as if not to disturb him. She retrieved the photo and brought it closer. Granted, the sleeping Jess was only a snapshot of an earlier occasion but the feeling was the same. Or so she imagined. Rory knew what it was like to wake to Jess' sleeping image on her nightstand. She could only imagine what it felt like to awaken and feel the warmth of his body beside hers. She sighed and pushed the thought out of her mind. They were no where near that point and Rory was perfectly okay with it. They were starting anew.  
  
Although they weren't a couple again, their friendship was stronger than Rory could've imagined. She looked at the picture of Jess' sleeping image and smiled. He hated the fact she had caught him asleep on her bed while waiting for her. It was a true Kodak moment. Rory set the picture back down on her nightstand and sat up. Pushing her covers back, she swung her legs over the side of her bed and slid her feet into her bunny slippers. Standing up, Rory grabbed a hair elastic and pulled her hair back and into a pony tail. She grabbed her toiletries and went to shower.  
  
Rory still hadn't told her mother about Jess. Today, there would be no avoiding it. Never one to keep a secret from her mother, Rory was going over the different scenarios as to how to let Lorelai know that Jess was back in her life. Oh, what a day it was going to be. 


End file.
